Friday, March 13, 2009

Doomsday is coming...still...(Spoilers)

 Ok, so Smallville is back. And boy, was it back! Last night's return from midseason break was pretty damn good and tense. Clark is confronted by Tori Spelling (that's scary enough), who threatens to take his secret public unless he gives her the scoop on his red-blue blur bit in order to revive her stagnant career (life imitating art?). Anyway, Clark decides to "scoop" her instead, and reveals his secret to Lois, giving HER the scoop. He thinks the world is ready for a "Superman", um, super-alien. 

 It's all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows at first. Then TMZ shows up, paparazzi everywhere, girls throwing themselves off ledges to be caught...someone picked their nose, probably, as well. It's chaotic as everyone wants a piece of the action. Then, right on cue, everyone starts to turn, people start whining "where's Clark Kent when my husband died? Why does he decide who lives or dies?" Then Tori Spelling spreads a story that Clark killed Lex Luthor, "the real hero." Ugh. 

 This is all tense enough, with the moral and ethical implications of heroism and moral hazard being played out. Very philosophical stuff here, the kind of stuff we at Superhero Babylon mull over while eating our frosted mini-wheats. (Chocolate, when they're on sale.) Gotta have our fiber. But there are some things that can trump all this socio-political mental floss: big explosions, alien invaders, big robots, big monster showdowns, and DOOMSDAY!
 Yes, Doomsday is back, tracking down Chloe, making his sad puppy dog eyes. But Davis only thinks he is there for Chloe, who he learns does not remember that magical night they shared at the fortress. No, Davis, who is taking his anti-Doomsday meds, is there because of the revelation that Clark is the "other Kryptonian," the one he is destined to kill. He manages to get Chloe a warning to warn Clark, only to get her in the end as Doomsday. NOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 Meanwhile, back as the barn...Clark is being chased by the authorities, Lois shows up, and Clark reveals that he has the Legion ring, which enables him to turn back time, find a way, and dress up like Cher instead. He's going to undo the deed, which breaks Lois's heart. But that bitch Tori shows up again (I should mention at this point that she has a name, Lori Lake, or Lilly Lake, or Donna, or some other LL derivative of the LL alliteration in Superman comics. She has water powers, too, hence, Lake.) Anyway, Tori shows up, switches the ring with the rock (k-bomb, that is), but Lois stops her, gets the ring, and Clark is about to make the time trip. Right before he goes, Lois gets the message about Doomsday coming, but Clark doesn't hear, and goes back, stops Tori ahead of time and nails her on the murders of whoever she murdered. 

 All's well, right? Not quite. When Clark time travels, something has to change. This time, he breaks Lois's heart...again...but his secret is safe, for now. So what happens? It could only be Doomsday related! Doomsday is back at the hospital, talking to...Tori! It's always about Tori, Tori, Tori! She knows his Doomsday secret, and induces him to change, free her, and wreak havok. He starts to change, the best move of all, takes a pillow, smothers Tori, and walks away unchanged. Moral of the story? One doesn't have to be a spiky monster to want to do in Tori Spelling. Clark even sticks her with an electrical cord (she's water, remember, electricity is her Kryptonite.) Hey, if you saw how much a bitch Tori's character was, you'd know that this was the greatest love of all. (But, we kid, we kid. Tori Spelling is a fictional character kids, don't try this at home, but read all about it in sTORI Telling by Tori Spelling. I think she's earned this plug.)

 So in other words, the whole thing was a nail-biter, for nothing! (I am SO glad Heroes wrote out that power for the current chapter; there are consequences, this time.) I want the real thing! Clark versus Doomsday! Now we have to wait...AGAIN...gadummit.